Letter 005: Do You Believe in Magic?

I mentioned that strange things started happening just before we met. You asked me about them, and I only grazed the surface. Let’s deep dive.

Some people might call these occurrences mere coincidences, but those people don’t believe in magic.

I didn’t either.

In the months that led up to meeting you, I woke up.

It dawned on me that I had been living my life on autopilot for years, simply going through the motions and doing what society had programmed me to do. Go to school. Get a job. Get married. Buy a house. Raise a family. 

I checked off all the boxes. My life was complete. I had done everything perfectly.



“ ‘My life is about to change’, I thought. ‘Something divine is communicating with me, and I can feel it.’ ”

It struck me when I joined a quality gym (the friend who introduced me to the place called it a “cult” of sorts), that I had not only set mental limitations on my own body — I had set mental limitations on the way I lived.

“Nothing is impossible,” my trainer told me one day. He was talking about pull-ups, but the message resonated more deeply.

I began to feel a sense of renewed energy for life.

“Nothing is impossible.”

The phrase haunted me as the days passed.

“Nothing is impossible.”

The phrase became a mantra, following me wherever I went.

“Nothing is impossible.”

If I could do a pull-up, and I could push my body to do things I never thought were possible…could I also push my mind?

I started to see signs.

Actual signs.

One day I was driving along, wondering about my life, and looked up to see a billboard that read, “A Better Life is Waiting.”

It was just an ad for a new housing development. It couldn’t be a message.

That would make me delusional…wouldn’t it?

But the messages started popping up everywhere.

Sign after sign emerged. I would look up and glimpse random messages that glowed in my mind’s eye like neon.

“Easy to Switch.”

“Heaven on Earth.”

“Better Days Ahead.”


I would see a sign, flip on the radio, and Ace of Base’s “The Sign” would come up on the classic station.

My life is about to change, I thought. Someone divine is communicating with me, and I can feel it.

“Your gift is waiting.”

“Fly with us.”

“We deliver.”

“Redeem your free gift today.”

“Need a lift?”

I started to wonder if I was going a little nuts, so I did some research.

Online, people claimed God talked to them like this all the time.

I had never been devout or thought in such an abstract way before, so it felt even more authentic somehow — I didn’t believe in signs, and they were presenting themselves to me anyway.

“I once was blind, but now I see.” I noticed a church’s LED announcement on the side of the road while I waited at a red light.

“Holy crap,” I said out loud to myself. “This is weird!”

Something divine had noticed me, whatever that presence may be.

God? Aliens? Spiritual beings? My future self? A zookeeper in space who looked after humans? An omnipotent mad scientist? Morpheus from the Matrix? A Mothman?

“Private eyes, are watching you…” Hall and Oates sang to me on a day I felt particularly nutty, “…they see your every move…”

I laughed out loud. “Okay, who’s messing with me?”

“I always feel like…somebody’s watching me,” Rockwell sang to me next.

“I think I’m paranoid,” Shirley Manson agreed with me.

“There will be days when you’re falling down
There will be days when you’re inside out
There will be days when you fall apart
Someone else will break your heart
They’re never gonna hold you back
I’m always gonna have your back
So try to remember that,”
Blue October told me that he was always there for me.

“Whoa.” It dawned on me that music was a miracle from outer space.

No wonder they call them rockstars!

My research led me to the concept of Starchildren and Starseeds

It felt as though I was trying to remember something about my authentic self, but being on Earth gave me amnesia about how powerful I really was. Music was waking me up, like the pre-kick songs in Inception.

I thought of growing up while watching Star Trek: The Next Generation, and how my favorite character had always been Q —  the mischievous alien being who found humans fascinating and liked to give Picard a hard time. Q could manifest anything with the snap of a finger, until one day he was turned into a human by the Q Collective. He was forced to live a mortal existence as punishment for his trickery. For only one episode, of course.

I thought, what if that’s what it really means to be human?

What if, as souls, we’re supernatural beings with infinite power, but we come to Earth in physical bodies for fun and growth? Like a challenge? Like an extended staycation?

Those who wake up can perform magic, those who stay asleep remain Muggles.

Maybe life is a game, and we play it for fun. Winning the lottery is boring, because it’s like playing the game with cheat codes on. It’s much more satisfying to earn your millions to gain ultimate access.

Or maybe our souls are all in training, and we can’t reach enlightenment until we’ve done enough positive growth within a hostile climate like Earth.

Maybe we’re all zombies devouring each other at the slightest hint of a heartbeat, and the only way to get out alive is to have the courage to survive, stay vigilant, and have faith you can defy all odds.

Maybe we’re Q in a penalty box.

Everything is connected. We have Jedi powers within. We can attract objects and others by finding our true, purest center — the oasis of our soul.

Maybe we’re reincarnated again and again, with infinite lives, until we’ve evolved enough to travel through space and time as beings of eternal light.

It all seems so out there.

Illogical. Irrational. Alien. Strange.

It sounds like magic!

It sounds like Star Wars. Harry Potter. Twilight. Narnia.

The Hunger Games. The Matrix. Every superhero story ever. Every fairytale. Every Disney movie.

The Bible.

Is there a reason certain stories resonate with humanity on such a deep and profound level? That certain themes become so popular? Are they trying to teach us something? Do they connect with the global consciousness subconsciously?

What are stories?

What is entertainment?

Why do we need it? 

Why do we love it?

Why do we need the escape?

Is it really an escape though, or a message of hope?

Hope, the last little monster that that lingered after Pandora had opened the forbidden box.

“Nothing is impossible.”

To truly have an open mind, you must accept that you know nothing.

I could have let all the signs and messages scare me, but instead I embraced the signs as divine knowledge that someone, somewhere, was bestowing upon me. I considered that maybe it wasn’t madness, and that someone truly wanted me to do something incredible with my life.

I started to feel a power crackling inside of me. I had lightning in a bottle. I had discovered the fountain of eternal youth and longevity.

I could contribute. Some way. Somehow. I could help make the world a better place for my son.

I started doing creative things that I had abandoned along with childhood. One of these notable endeavors was writing music. I’ll tell you about the night I found my calling later.

What led me directly to you, was my newfound love and understanding of music within my core.

Music consumed my entire being, like a pulsating light within my veins.

Songs and artists I had disliked before suddenly made perfect sense. Genres I had previously hated had something to offer. I learned to accept that we all have different perspectives and preferences, and that it is not my place to judge other creatives for sharing their soul-work with humanity.

Music is a gift.

Music is a lifeline, to guide us through the human experience.

As in Guardians of the Galaxy, music can help us stay sane in the midst of an intergalactic battle.

Music is life. Music is everything.

That’s why those who write it well are worshipped. False idols? Maybe, but I’m not so sure. The egotistical ones might be. But what about the ones who are using their powers to make the world a better place?

They might as well be angels sent from above.

“This is totally nuts,” I told myself. Any more nuts than a bunch of cells dividing and evolving perpetually while living meaningless existences on Earth? What’s wrong with trying to find meaning in it all? Why can’t there be some meaning?

Why can’t there be magic?

Music is magic. Music allows you to transcend space and time, and to rocket off into super stardom.

When music became everything to me, I started to dance again.

“Oh, I wanna dance with somebody…” Whitney Houston belted.

I would hear a song at the gym, and have to dance in the middle of a workout.

“Everybody dance now,” C+C Music Factory commanded.

A song would come on the loudspeaker, and I’d have to dance in the middle of the grocery store.

“Just beat it…” Michael Jackson told me. Life is the ultimate game. Just beat it.

A song would come on in my car, and I’d have to dance while driving. 

And when I danced, I generated a positive energetic force-field around myself. Drivers flashed me in. Lights turned green. Traffic signals synced up to the beat of the radio.

Levels unlocked. Secret pathways opened.

That’s what happened when I pulled up to my local coffee-shop drive-thru on a muggy day in October. A song came on, and I couldn’t help but dance in my car.

“I love your energy!” My favorite barista said to me as I placed my order. “You like dancing?”

“I love dancing!” I told her without missing a beat.

“Hey, you should come dancing with me tonight!” She said as she handed me my coffee at the window.

“That sounds fun!” I had no idea what I was agreeing to. We exchanged numbers, and I promised to meet her at 7pm. She would text me the address.

I didn’t know where we were going. To a bar? A night club? A show? 

It didn’t matter where we were going. Life had become an adventure to me, and I was ready for anything.

She must have been in on it — the universe’s conspiracy to have us meet.

Because we met that very night.

(Follow me on Medium | @elidhawk)

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